Game Reviews

The Weirdest Game of 2024 Just Dropped on Steam with Arctic Eggs

There I was thinking the strangest game of 2024 already dropped, but I’m here to say: I was dead wrong. That one scene or three from Final Fantasy VII Rebirth got nothin’ on what Arctic Eggs is cooking.

I stumbled upon this game by accident, but with a name like Arctic Eggs, it certainly piqued my interest. From what I can tell, it once was a game jam entry that turned into a full release.

That in itself is a selling point for Arctic Eggs, because quite a few game jam titles turn out to be some of the more memorable experiences in gaming.

Arctic Eggs humorous screenshot with dialogue from an NPC
He ain’t wrong.

Arctic Eggs’ Cold Future Is Literal Insanity

And memorable Arctic Eggs most definitely is. I was not prepared for this absolute nutcase of a cooking game. It’s like a fever dream, with its hazy, low-poly graphics and some of the most out-of-pocket NPC dialogue ever. Graphically, it’s actually super well done and creates a vibe that few games capture, like a constant stream of weird injected into your monitor.

In Arctic Eggs, your escape attempt from this weird arctic outpost leads to you becoming its latest egg-handling chef. Hungry people abound, and it’s your job to cook up whatever they desire. It’s not the cooking that stood out to me (at first) but rather how downright odd the dialogue was.

Arctic Eggs humorous screenshot with dialogue from an NPC
Sure bud. Whatever you say.

Literally everyone in Arctic Eggs is a freak. You’ve got people spouting the most random string of words, like this one girl comparing cooking to cleaning toilets, or how they used to use my character’s nose as a sundial when the power was out. Then in comes folks spouting deep philosophical truths, and I’m just like, “Man, I am not prepared for this.”

And I didn’t even touch on the subtle worldbuilding the developer injects here and there. This arctic civilization is ruled by the enigmatic Saint of Six Stomachs. Armed guards are everywhere for some reason. Further lore was established as I gutted a fish, with more information flowing on the screen as the knife sunk deeper into this poor creature.

The NPCs themselves look just as wacky as their dialogue. Clearly, we’re in this near-future setting, some characters with cybernetic parts and oh god, what is on that guy’s face? After a while, you get used to it and the weird becomes normal, but someone will always come back to surprise you with dialogue even more unhinged than the last. Such is life in the future.

Arctic Eggs humorous gameplay of cooking.
Oh god, it’s an absolute mess.

Wait, the Gameplay Is Great, Too?

Underneath all this humor and oddity is a shockingly well-made game, from Arctic Eggs’ music, art design, and most importantly gameplay. You’re here to cook for the hungry people of this world, and no demand shall go unfulfilled. Cooking eggs is not sufficient enough, no, you’re going to be working with the finest cuisine this world has to offer.

Cooking up eggs is easy enough. You’re equipped with a frying pan, and players can adjust the sensitivity of the pan. Things are a little slippery at first and flipping your egg over might take a few times, but before you know it, you’ve practically earned a Michelin Star. Arctic Eggs has such a simple hook and premise, but it’s so very addicting.

Arctic Eggs humorous screenshot cooking gameplay.
When you don’t say “when” to the Olive Garden cheese grater.

One of your first requests is an egg and a cigarette. Okay, that’s pretty weird, most definitely not sanitary, but who am I to judge? Believe me, though, it gets stranger and stranger. The ingredients you work with are bizarre and add all new challenges to the gameplay.

The wide breadth of ingredients I cooked for these people include, but are not limited to: eggs (obviously), fish in a tin (the tin gets cooked too!), live pufferfish (I thought that killed you?), a whole-ass stingray, beer in the bottle, and whiskey glass and ice cubes. These are all mixed in the singular pan, often creating a culinary disaster.

Really, this is a game you’ll have to play for yourself to truly understand. I took a risk playing this game with absolutely zero expectations, and found a veritable goldmine of humor and eccentricity. So, if you’re feeling adventurous, go ahead and dive into the madness that is Arctic Eggs.

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